Tenacious: “to hold fast”

Mid-summer, and because I am so thoroughly blessed by living in a peaceful place and ‘soon to be’ lovely house [renovations are reaching the end], and have a comfortable gazebo in which to eat and read and from which to gaze at the many surprises that our yard supplies – well need I actually say what I feel!  I just want to relax in this state for many more days!!

But I know that as soon as August 1^st comes round I will feel the pressure of yet-unplanned days and schedules and it will be more difficult to take the time to relax and observe.  I want to hold on to this time but more so, I think I want to hold fast to the quality of observation and depth of peace that I have been enjoying while I move ahead to autumn expectations.

There is something of value that the word tenacious, meaning “to hold fast” implies.  There is a reason for the tenacity, for the holding on to. There is a source that makes it possible.

What drew my mind to this word was my amaryllis plant.  Each spring, once the flowers fade, I cut off the flower stalk and baby it along until I can put it outside in a pot because I read that through the summer the leaves will take in what is needed to replenish the bulb so that it can be stored and will bloom again next year.  Well, this year the flowers were absolutely gorgeous and when I cut off the stalk I felt the bulb and it seemed there was nothing left!  Now in the way renovations go we were packing things away so finally, upon my husbands assertion that there is just no way that bulb is going to grow I finally tossed it in the compost.  Yes, I did!

Well, as I glanced at the compost from time to time I noticed that the leaves which had drooped began to perk up and several new leaves were beginning to grow. When I tugged at the plant thinking that perhaps I should plant it in the garden it had produced long roots which were firmly holding fast to the debris in the compost and to tug it out would have meant to rip the roots.  So I left it and we enjoy the beauty of bright green leaves reaching out of the compost.

I hold on – be that to what I observe of our plants, flowers and birds or to what comes from the compost heap.  I hold on to the beauty, the peace, the lessons of seeds – growth – fruit/flowers, of bird challenges and feedings, of weeds, of the feel of the slight breeze in the evening as we observe the clouds and wait for the light to fade, of the candlelight in the darkness.  I hold on to the realization that even when the soil is a bunch of grass clippings without fertilizer somehow it can produce incredibly healthy looking leaves.

I hold on – because in all of this there is a source that gives me life, that refreshes and restores my soul, that brings healing and offers hope for new growth.  Within God’s creation there is the source of life just as within God’s Word there is also the source of life – both essential to my well being. 

In our yard, which some may think of as a hodge podge of garden spaces, trees, and grass I have observed that plants grow out of tree bark and dead trees as well. The rains have caused these to flourish.  I love the miniature worlds they produce – their own little ‘secret gardens’ that are all part of the whole. 

These photos show some of the smaller places in our yard and some of the plants that are holding fast. 

at the base of the willow tree

in the stump of a willow tree which was cut down about 15 years ago

Natural Elements

Sometimes we do not know what we know until we touch – touching the truth with our minds alone is not enough – we are made to touch it with our bodies. And so as I touch stone, wood, glass, and clay I allow touch to teach me of God's creation.

In renovating the main floor of our house [it's not quite done yet!] it gradually occurred to me that we were being drawn to natural elements and when we could not afford the ‘real’ we opted for the man-made in a form as close to the original as possible.  For example, rather than a stone pebble floor in the washroom, which would be too heavy for our older house, we opted for a vinyl that “spoke pebbles” to us.  And pebbles in the washroom makes sense to me because that is where water is - where cleansing takes place – and on my more imaginative days it seems I am standing on the edge of a stream...

Through looking more carefully and touching contemplatively I rekindle my love of natural things.  I allow my senses time to pay attention, to ponder the feel and look of the elements - and in this way learn a greater reverence for God’s creation. And reverence happens when my senses move from taking things for granted to standing in awe of what God created.  Reverence is hard to define – but you know it when you feel it.

Paul Woodruff [Taylor, An Altar in the World] argues that true reverence cannot be for anything that human beings can make or manage by ourselves.  By definition, he says, “Reverence is the recognition of something greater than the self – something that is beyond human creation or control, that transcends full human understanding.” 

But, I believe that the path to reverence is ‘paved with the ordinary’ and it is the ordinary and even the modified that pushes us along the path to recognize and reverence God’s Creation. We begin with where we are – we touch, listen, see, & taste – and as we ponder these we may find ourselves standing in awe of that which is beyond human. 

The photos in this blog highlight the ‘natural elements’ and manmade materials that we have used to create a place of harmony that provides me with a pathway to creation.  A place were one can run a finger along the grain of wood, feel the smoothness of stone, the coolness of porcelain, watch the beauty of light as it passes through glass, clear or coloured, marvel at the diverse shades of slate the simply beauty of soapstone and marble.

Sabbath and the Practice of Saying 'No'

In Barbara Brown Taylor's book, An Altar in the World,  she reveals ways to discover the sacred in the small things we do and see by participating in various practices.  As we incorporate these practices into our daily lives, we begin to discover altars everywhere we go, in nearly everything we do.

'The Practice of Saying No' is the title of Chapter 8 and it is alternately called, Sabbath.  While it is easy and affirming to say 'Yes' it is much more difficult to say 'No' -  yet it is in saying no that we may finally become acquainted with the Holy.  Abrahan Heschel says that the first holy thing in all creation was not a people or a place but a day.  God made everything in creation and called it good; but when God rested on the seventh day, God called it holy.

Sabbath means rest, but it is not always easy, and just as we enter into a day of rest we may be confronted with compulsions, memories, resistance which hinders rather than brings life to our spirits.  Sometimes the practice of Sabbath, similar to holidays, must begin with shorter moments so that our bodies and minds can accommodate it without feeling ill or our of sorts.

Well I'm not going to go into a discussion on Sabbath as I believe we each need to find our own way into it.  For example, for myself, about every 7 months my soul grows weary and I know it is time to take at least a Three-day Silent Retreat.  The weekly practice of Sabbath is essential and I find I crave it more and more, and especially after an intense week. This evening I am finding it particularly inviting as I've finished a painting that has taken several weeks. When a painting is finished I'm exhausted!

To conclude, a final quote from Barbara Brown Taylor on Sabbath.  "The ancient wisdom of the Sabbath commandment - and of the Christian gospel as well - is that there is no saying yes to God without saying no to God's rivals....  Your day begins when you let God hold you because you do not have the slightest idea how to hold yourself - when you let God raise you up - when you consent to rest to show you get the point, since that is the last thing you would do if you were running the show yourself.  When you live in God your day begins when you lose yourself long enough for God to find you and when God finds you, to lose yourself again in praise."