A Psalm of Waiting...

Psalm 62 was the passage shared in service today.

This "Psalm of Waiting" begins,  "For God alone my soul waits in silence;"

I've realized over the past four years how beneficial it has been for me to 'wait in silence' and have developed this ability by participating in several silent retreats.  Learning to wait in silence for God has taught me many things - one being, that after an extended time of silence I carry a sense of peace and calm with me through my days.  Anxiety, frustrations, etc are minimized because somehow there is within me a quiet spirit.  Uncertainty becomes 'okay' - I don't always need to know the answers, I don't always need to make things happen so that 'everything is taken care of.'

Still need to put up the mirror and towel ring:)

And so, the renovations, which move ever so slowly, are 'okay' - no matter that I'm surprised and somewhat dismayed when I realize that we need to repair little holes in the walls[sometimes more than once], sand, wipe down, prime, sand again, and paint at least twice... and then the tape that is supposed to protect a wall already painted removes the paint no matter how gently your pull it off and the process begins again.  But we are progressing inch by inch and yesterday the washroom looked a bit more complete as we put the curtains and the extra towel bar up. 

And it's 'okay' that it is taking longer than expected to repair the garage roof... which now sports a blue tarp because we need more roofing tiles...

In a life that is constantly busy, constantly full of noise, demands, and responsibilities we tend to ignore the call of our souls to silence.  And waiting and silence are important complements.  It is super difficult to sit quietly, in silence, to attend to God, to rest from telling God how he might answer my concerns or set the world straight!  It's super difficult for me to sit quietly without having a book, or a paint brush, or a pen in my hand... always ready to think or create.  Being privileged to be born into a family of 'creative doers' this is exceptionally difficult - because it seems so un-productive!

I was reminded of this today while reading my sister's blog where she comments on this tension when producing objects out of clay but not being able to fire them until the electrician can hook up the kiln in mid-September! Hence the feeling of an incomplete process of productivity.  All the same it seems she is enjoying the creative multi-step somewhat meditative process required in the forming of the clay...  You can check out her blog: "My Life in Clay"  http://perimichelle.blogspot.ca/

Perhaps the process is as, if not more, important than the final product... How often do we focus on God's Kingdom to come and lose focus on God's kingdom now? How often do we hurry and scurry around to get to our destination - but miss the quiet moments that can be experienced in the process of getting there?

Life is full of small moments and learning to be silent enables me to accept each as one more step in a process, one more bit of path in the journey, one more moment in learning to know someone a bit better.

In all of this I keep hoping to see more clearly the intertwining of the sacred with the 'here and now' [Henri Nouwen], to blend a measure of God's view from above and my view from below [Philip Yancey], to understand that 'what I experience in the world of faith must be measured against what I see, what is happening around me." [Nora Gallagher] and to quite simply understand that God is indeed part of my 'everydayness.'

Barbara Brown Taylor writes in her book,  An Altar in the World,  "What is saving my life now... is the conviction that there is no spiritual treasure to be found apart from the bodily experiences of human life on earth.  My life depends on engaging the most ordinary physical activities with the most exquisite attention I can give them. [I ignore distinctions between secular and sacred, physical and spiritual, the body and the soul]  What is saving my life now is becoming more fully human, trusting that there is no way to God apart from real life in the real world... In a world where faith is often construed as a way of thinking, bodily practices remind the willing that faith is a way of life... Wherever you are, you live in the world, which is just waiting for you to notice the holiness in it."

Yesterday evening I took my coffee out to sit quietly in the cool damp of the evening. It was silent and it was windy.  As I was looking at my sweet peas, which I am growing in a pot on the gazebo porch beside my 'relaxing chair', my eyes gradually focused in on a beautiful green and brown dragonfly which seemed to be 'hanging on for dear life' as the wind buffeted the vines on the rather flimsy climbing strings.  In a moment of silence, of wonder, I paused -  before running for my camera to capture this beautifully exquisite creature in a photo!

Autumn

I love autumn - until I look at my calendar and see days full of work and appointments!

My soul wants to shut out the busyness of September and perhaps it would if I were not able to get out and see the autumn leaves and feel the cool, settling air. There is stillness, decay, and death. But there is also a glimpse of hope - I gather perennial seeds and scatter them in new places hoping for the miracle of spring that will bring them to life.

Many years I have gathered autumn leaves - we all like to "gather" certain things in the hopes, perhaps, of somehow possessing them, or hanging on so we don't lose them.  Well, perhaps by painting these leaves I no longer need to gather.  I feel I am brushing and coaxing many colours and shapes into a memory of autumn.

A few quotes on autumn which cause me to ponder and which hold in them something truly profound about how we might experience this season:

Everyone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn.
Elizabeth Lawrence

Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns.
George Eliot

I cannot endure to waste anything as precious as autumn sunshine by staying in the house. So I spend almost all the daylight hours in the open air.
Nathaniel Hawthorne

Autumn wins you best by this, its mute
Appeal to sympathy for its decay.
Robert Browning

Spring passes and one remembers one's innocence. Summer passes and one remembers one's exuberance. Autumn passes and one remembers one's reverence. Winter passes and one remembers one's perseverance.
Yoko Ono

A continuing exercise....

Renovations continue!!

 So it seems we are "almost done" our main floor renovations.  I say almost because the workers have come and gone and it's basically up to us now to finish it off!  Well, the fellow has not done the grout for the tiles but this is a job I will tackle with my sister's help next week.  Then there is the painting!  But we are moving along wall by wall and one of these days it will be complete.  

At least now we can feel like having people over for coffee or a barbeque as long as the weather is good and we can use the gazebo...[because the washroom is now useable]  and we are having a lovely summer and there is nothing more peaceful than sitting outside in a sheltered spot reading or chatting with a cup of coffee in hand. I'm really enjoying this summer!

our outdoor dining room

 

 Oh yes, must get the mirror up, the towel rack on and the curtains and pictures hung in the washroom!

And there are doors that have been taken off to paint that need to be put on... endless details it seems but we keep tackling them one at a time.  It has been a challenging and enlightening experience but overall I think we are ending up with a very harmonious and welcoming space that we hope to enjoy for the next 20 years!!

Calling forth creativity

I just read an very interesting review about a new book on creativity, called Imagine by Jonah Lehrer.  http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2012/4/17/lifebookshelf/11100560&sec=lifebookshelf

It affirms that our creative abilities originate in the right side of the brain, come to light when we are "at rest" or relaxing but are birthed with a great deal of effort.  Which does make sense to me.

This might be an interesting read but I'll just stay with the reviews for the moment as I already have a painting waiting for the 'hard work" on the easel and a stack of 8 books on my desk to peruse and a lot of mulling over to do for my next writing....:)

I like this quote in the review: ‘A good poem is never easy. It must be pulled out of us, like a splinter.’  Might need to think about the splinter part... I believe that creativity is somehow within us and even as we mull things over and over, eventually something calls it forth to be seen, heard, felt, and yes, well perhaps even sniffed.

But...  now for some hard work...

Raindrops

What a pleasant rain today....  we [Doug & I] were having afternoon coffee on the front porch of the gazebo when a simple bolt of lightning followed by a loud and prolonged roar of thunder resulted, not in a downpour but a gentle fall of rain.

The nasturtiums, which are growing in front of the gazebo, have leaves like lily pads which catch raindrops, resulting in a huge droplet forming in the center of the leaf.  It increases as small drops plop into it and eventually becomes too heavy and rolls gently off the leaf.  The droplets roll around and shake like a drop of mercury... they "shimmer" and show an intriguing, image of the leaf below them. I really enjoyed watching and finally took a few photos, several of which are included below.

I googled "raindrops" and found the incredibly relaxing Chopin's Raindrops on line.... you might like to take a five minute break and sit back, close your eyes and relax while listening to it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcIMvliWM2I