"I felt drawn to writing because for me it had opened chinks of light that became a window to another world... I became a writer because of my own encounter with the power of words, and I gained hope that spoiled words, their original meaning wrung out, could be reclaimed."
These statements by Philip Yancey, in the introductory chapter of his book
Soul Survivor, introduce us to thirteen authors whose direct or indirect "words" spoke grace into his life and made a significant difference. This book inspires me and reminds me that there have been and are authors whose words inspire me and have changed or confirmed my perspective. Yancey himself is one of them.
While I would not claim to be broadly read, I do read often. I know we all have our preferences, but I would say that a few writers who have influenced me would include: Kathleen Norris, Barbara Brown Taylor, Henri Nouwen, Esther deWaal, John O'Donohue, Frederick Buechner, Sue Bender, and Madeleine L'Engle.
I always make a point of reading a writer's foreword/introduction looking for their 'purpose statement' because I like to know 'why' they are writing. As I go through the book their thoughts unfold and build to minor points and finally the major reason for writing.
With art, as I go through a book, even if I am just glancing through it, I also first read the forward or purpose statement. I want to know why an artist paints, the what and the way they do it. Sometimes I can really resonate with what they say and it helps me clarify my own thoughts about why I paint. One of my favourite acrylic artist "mentors" John Hammond writes, "My aim in painting is to communicate the feeling of a moment, and the things that define the moment for me are those temporary, transient qualities, the greatest of which is light."
An artist - be they a visual artist, a poet, an author, or a songwriter - all do it for a reason. I think we often grow into the reason if it is not clear from the beginning. It takes time to learn, to experiment, to come to terms with our own abilities, awareness - both inner and outer - and our doubts.
The past month, with a group show and a solo exhibition, has been one of "thrusting myself upon others as an artist" and this is hard. I was reading
Soul Survivor at the time and Yancey, once again, puts in words what I was feeling.
"Every writer (artist) must overcome a kind of shyness, putting out of mind the fear that we are being arrogant by thrusting ourselves upon you the reader (viewer), and egotistical by assuming our words (paintings) are worth your time. Why should you care about what I have to say? What right have I to impose myself on you? In another context, Simone Weil presents a kind of answer; "I cannot conceive the necessity for God to love me, when I feel so clearly that even with human beings affection for me can only be a mistake. But I can easily imagine that he loves that perspective of creation which can only be seen from the point where I am." That is all any writer can offer, especially a writer of faith: a unique perspective of creation, a point of view visible only from the point where I am."
To paraphrase his next paragraph: Everything I paint is coloured by my life up to this point, my "unique set of eyes". I can only paint with passion about my own experiences, no one else's. I find that viewers respond not to the specifics of my experience, but rather to what they summon up. In the viewer, my paintings work a different effect than they worked in me as I composed them... Somehow my rendering, my tentative steps towards expressing my interpretation strikes a sympathetic chord: it
provokes something.
In the end then, that is all I can do... take what I observe of God's creation, assimilate it and then set it onto the paper or canvas as my interpretation, my point of view. It then becomes an offering to the viewer. Because much of what we write or paint is so personal it is difficult to grasp when others are touched by it.... yet it happens and it is humbling.
Numerous people have asked me recently if it is difficult to let my paintings go. I was glad for a few last looks at some of my paintings which have sold and I will go to the gallery once again tomorrow to look one last time at the ones that have sold before they go to their new homes. In a strange way, I feel there comes a moment in time when I know it is time to let a painting go. When someone else comes to appreciate and desire the perspective of creation that I have had the privilege to paint it is with a sense of release and of approval that I gladly relinquish my hold.... after all, the original scene belongs to all. I have simply had the opportunity to capture it on paper or canvas and to do so in my own unique manner.
