The Dark Wood

Several years ago our son, Andrew, drew this picture of a young boy and his cat heading into the "dark wood."  I enlarged it and painted it and I love it.

I think how often we get only as far as the entrance to the woods and spiritually only as far as to the entrance of our soul.

A friend of mine loves books and 'gathers' books for me.  She gave me Reaching Out, by Henri J. M. Nouwen and yesterday I read the following which calls out to me to read further:

"What does it mean to live a life in the Spirit of Jesus Christ?....The question about the spiritual life is a very challenging question. It touches the core of life.  It forces you to take nothing for granted - neither good nor evil, neither life nor death, neither human beings nor God.  That is why this question, while intimately my own, is also the question that asks for so much guidance.  That is why the decisions that are most personal ask for the greatest support.  That is why, even after many years of education and formation, even after the good advice and counsel of many, I can still say with Dante, "In the middle of the way of our life I find myself in a dark wood."  

This experience is frightful as well as exhilarating because it is the great experience of being alone, alone in the world, alone before God...In the midst of a turbulent, often chaotic, life we are called to reach out, with courageous honesty to our innermost self, with relentless care to our fellow human beings, and with increasing prayer to our God.  To do that, however, we have to face and explore directly our inner restlessness, our mixed feelings towards others and our deep-seated suspicions about the absence of God..."

Reaching out to our innermost self is often a movement into solitude, often a walk through dark woods, a lonely path.  But we each need to find our way. To find our way through the silence, to see the faces in the trees, penetrate the hidden corners of our heart, confront the fears....to come through the deep woods where our hearts have called out to God and we have finally learned to open the way to the prayer of our heart and eventually come to the living water.

Bishop Theophan the Recluse:  "I will remind you of only one thing: one must descend with the mind into the heart, and there stand before the face of the Lord, ever present, all seeing within you.  The prayer takes a firm and steadfast hold, when a small fire begins to burn in the heart.  Try not to quench this fire, and it will become established in such a way that the prayer repeats itself: and then you will have within you a small murmuring stream."

In this way then - through the deep woods, into the soul, before the face of God, we come to the place of nourishment and peace, the still waters, the living stream - the heart of God, El Shaddai.