To Live "in grace"

I was introduced to the writings of Anne Morrow Lindbergh several years ago at a “Nurturing the Spirit Within” Retreat at Queen's House of Retreats. Gift from the Sea, she says, was written, “in order to think out my own particular pattern of living, my own individual balance of life, work, and human relationships," to speak about life while describing a variety of shells found on the beach.

In the first chapter she asks, while pondering the channelled whelk, “What is the shape of my life?  It is determined by many things…I want to give and take…carry out my obligations.  But I want first of all – to be at peace with myself.  I want a singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life … I want, in fact, to live “in grace” as much of the time as possible.  Grace being an inner harmony, essentially spiritual, which can be translated into outward harmony…I would like to achieve a state of inner spiritual grace from which I could function and give as I was meant to in the eye of God…”

“I have learned…that certain environments, certain modes of life, certain rules of conduct are more conducive to inner and outer harmony than others…simplification of life is one road to this…but my frame of life does not foster simplicity…but multiplicity…that leads to fragmentation.  It does not bring grace, it destroys the soul.  Distraction is inherent in woman’s life." 

The problem then is,  "how to remain whole in the midst of the distractions of life; how to remain balanced, no matter what forces tend to pull one off centre; how to remain strong, no matter what shocks come in at the periphery…"

She goes on to talk about the value of solitude.  There is “a quality to being alone that is incredibly precious.  When one is a stranger to oneself then one is estranged from others too.  If one is out of touch with oneself, then one cannot touch others….Only when one is connected to one’s inner core is one connected to others, and for me the core, the inner spring, can best be refound through solitude.”

Today, I along with 9 other ladies, had the opportunity to spend the day at Queen's House.  Some of that time was spent alone, and even though the retreat centre seemed a bit less quiet than usual, I was encouraged by my time of silence.  For like, Anne Morrow Lindbergh, I too have found that in moments of quiet contemplation, in solitude and silence I become more aware of who I am, of my inner needs, desires, and satisfaction - which to me speaks of wholeness. It is in silence that I can ponder the knowledge of and about God that I have learned, let it filter down to my innermost being and, like the fire, the cloud, and the water that symbolize the Holy Spirit, let it flow over and through and wrap itself around who I am. As a result, I become less fragmented. I become more whole, more at peace with who I am and with others.

It is in silence and solitude that I find a measure of that peace that Jesus promised to us.  As His promise of "shalom" indicates,  He seeks to find us and leave us well, with wholeness in our being... with an inner harmony that is reflected in outward harmony.

All in all it was a day that addressed in me the longing to live "in grace."

I end the day with desires expressed by John O'Donohue,

As the light departs to let the earth be one with night...
After the day's intensity - may the heart grow still,
Gracious in thought for all the day brought,
surprises that dawn could never have dreamed...
And awaken the soul for the new tomorrow.