"Now I become Myself…"

I was introduced to the desire to seriously consider 'who I am' when someone mentioned Parker Palmer's book, Let Your Life Speak.  Since then I have tried to understand what my deepest longings tell me about myself...most days I am still trying to figure this out.  I'm thinking that it will be a lifelong quest.

Who we 'are' is often influenced and sometimes created by others.  May Sarton wrote,

Now I become myself.

It's taken, many years and places.

I have been dissolved and shaken,

worn other people's faces…

And Parker Palmer writes,
"What a long time it can take to become the person one has always been!  How often in the process we mask ourselves in faces that are not our own.  How much dissolving and shaking of the ego we must endure before we discover our deep identity - the true self within every human being that is the seed of authentic vocation."

When our youngest son was in grade 12 we dutifully went to his final parent-teacher interview.  His psychology teacher said, "What can I say about David?" (Pause…) then, "Besides having a unique sense of humour, David is very comfortable with who he is."  My thought was - Wow, that's more than I can say for myself!

Well, I have made some progress along the way towards discovery of what makes me tick and how I can be comfortable with the person I am. I ponder what gives me the deepest joy and the greatest regret  -  and I'm learning to add more of the former into my life... Even when it takes time and may be difficult, and even on those days when I long to create art but it turns out totally different than what I envisioned it to be and took much longer than expected!